Who's Coming to Dinner?

There is a point in planning a dinner party when the guest list stops being theoretical. You start with the people you'd like to invite. Some say yes immediately. Some can't make it. A few need to check their schedules. Someone says, “Let me get back to you.”

And for a while, that's fine. You have room. You'd love to have them. There is no particular reason they need to decide today. But eventually, you have to plan the dinner. How much food do you buy? How many bottles of wine? Do you need the extra leaf in the table? How many places do you actually set?

I have been thinking about this lately because planning a small-group tour can feel remarkably similar. Someone recently asked me what the last day was to register for one of our tours.

The answer is: I don't really know.

We don't generally have a registration deadline. If we have space and can accommodate you, we want you to come. Sometimes someone can register surprisingly close to departure.

We have been fortunate that most of our tours fill reasonably quickly and well in advance, so this question hasn't come up very often. Usually the table fills, and that is that.

Lately, though, people seem to be taking a little longer to decide. They want to be sure the dates work, that they can make the commitment, that nothing else is going to get in the way. I understand that completely. Travel is a big decision, and sometimes waiting is exactly the sensible thing to do.

The challenge is that someone may still be deciding at exactly the moment when I need to start turning possibilities into plans.

For us, that usually happens somewhere around sixty days before departure. It isn't a deadline, but hotel rooms start getting assigned, rooming lists are due, arrival times come in, and we begin talking more regularly with the travelers. Restaurants, artisans, guides, and transportation companies need numbers. What was once a tour we're hoping people will join starts becoming this tour, with these people.

Sometimes another registration at that point is easy. There is still a hotel room, another seat on the bus, another place at the table.

But eventually the extra rooms are released and the numbers are finalized. Another person may still be possible, but now adding them means going backward and reopening arrangements that were already settled.

And that's why I have such trouble answering, “What's the last day I can register?” I don't want to invent a deadline when there is still a perfectly good chair available. But I also can't keep every possible chair open indefinitely.

Maybe that's the difference between inviting people to dinner and actually giving a dinner party. For a while, you're wondering who might come. Then you start cooking.

There may still be room for one more. If there is, we'll gladly pull up another chair. But eventually, you set the table for the evening that's taking shape and start looking forward to who's coming to dinner.